Dave Turner

Confused to see an entry from me?

2008-11-14T15:23:40Z

It's for a good reason. I passed the New York Bar Exam. :)

Great Moments In Advertising

2008-05-29T23:55:30Z

It's an ad sponsored by a New Zealand TV station for an upcoming showing of the Tarantino epic.

Zeus versus Pele!

2008-05-13T18:59:17Z

The divine grudge match is settled tonight!

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

2008-05-10T14:03:38Z

It's a tough choice for me. Either this:

or this:

(It's St. Edward's Crown, used to coronate the monarchs of England)

What famous people have died on your birthday?

2008-05-06T18:08:29Z

In a recent post by manningkrull, he asked what famous people shared birthdays with the reader. In conducting my thorough Internet research, I discovered that George Bernard Shaw had died on my birthday. I've seen Manning's question a million times. I've never asked people to tell me who died on their birthday. So how about it, my few but faithful readers? What famous people have died on your birthday?

Aside from George Bernard Shaw, I've got:

- Theo Van Gogh (Dutch filmmaker killed in 2004 by Islamist extremists over his controversial new movie)

- Eva Marie Cassidy (singer-songwriter with a very sweet, light voice)

- Mary Lillian Ellison, a.k.a. "The Fabulous Moolah (a female wrestler who was the longest reigning champion in WWE history at 30 years)

-

Spread the meme if you feel like it. ;)

Not content with their waffles and chocolate

2008-04-29T00:07:03Z

Just when you thought that the Diet Coke-Mentos meme was exhausted, some Belgians set a new world record. The last two pictures in this brief news story are magnificent.

It doesn't matter how many states a Democratic candidate wins

2008-04-28T12:58:00Z

Well, it does, but not in the way that most pundits keep repeating. Yes, Obama has won more states than Hillary. But since the U.S. uses an electoral college in its presidential election, the relevant question is which states you've won, not how many. I don't have precise numbers, but a candidate could probably win the 30 smallest states in the general election and still not become president. He or she would win more states, but lose the election, you lazy pundit jackasses.

Hillary's argument about her victories in swing states (which tend to be mid-to-large states in terms of population) springs from Obama's lead in total states won. It's the only argument in her favor with a scintilla of sense. Unfortunately for Hillary, this argument evaporates after a moment's critical thought. Once the Democratic nomination farce is over, I expect that most rank-and-file Democrats will line up behind Obama. Right now, Democrats can afford to be partisan and idealistic. Nothing's on the line for them. When the general election comes around, the Democrats will be able to sing a litany of woes over the last eight years of Republican Presidential rule. No sane Democrat will vote for a Republican to spite their own party. They may say that in opinion polls in April. Ask them again in October.

So who cares if Hillary wins some swing or big states in March and April? It's clear that Obama can't win those states competing against Hillary. Can Obama win those states against McCain? Polls give us contradictory answers week in and week out. One week, he's stronger than Hillary, the next he's weaker. Week in and week out, Clinton is beating up on Obama, and vice versa. The media hasn't yet sunk its teeth into McCain in a meaningful way. They're too busy covering a Democratic race which is already over (hint: Obama wins). Give McCain a chance to make real mistakes on the presidential campaign trail and I suspect he won't be much trouble for a Democratic nominee. Obama can beat McCain in November, regardless of a state's size.

Flight of the Conchords

2008-04-24T22:03:29Z

Not since Fry and Laurie have I enjoyed such a clever pair of gents. Their songs aren't just Weird Al rip-offs. The songs are true, brilliant parodies of their source material. "The Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room)" drips with Prince's vocal and musical flourishes. I can imagine "Inner City Pressure" as an unreleased Pet Shop Boys track that they recorded as a laugh. "Bowie" is SO on target that it sends chills down my spine. This message is titled "Foux Du FaFa" because the music in that song resonates with the few French Pop songs I have on my iPod, things like "Verlaine" and "La Mer, by Charles Trenet. The lyrics of "Foux" are relentlessly silly, but the song remains dangerously sunny and infectious.

My only regret thus far is that my favorite song of theirs is only available (quasi-legally) as a YouTube video. If you haven't seen it, and care to, search YouTube for "Flight of the Conchords Jenny", for a song from their HBO special called "Jenny." If you like the Conchords, you will thank me.

Movie Review: Primer

2008-03-28T14:30:05Z

If you thought “Memento” was challenging to watch, but rewarding, then I’ve got a movie for you.

“Primer” (2004) is what some people call a “micro-budget” movie, made for $7,000 by five men. It received a jury prize at Sundance and was nominated for a few other independent film awards. Shane Carruth, who wrote, directed, edited, shot, and stars in the film, is a former engineer with a degree in mathematics who taught himself physics while he wrote the script. What’s the film about? Time travel. What happens in the film? That’s the hard part of writing this review: I’m not entirely sure.

I understand the skeleton of the plot. Two very smart inventors work in their spare time to design new, more efficient superconductors. Money and time are salvaged and stolen from their day jobs and their families to work on this project in a garage. One day, they succeed beyond their expectations. One of the men, Abe, discovers a very bizarre property of their invention: it alters time. From that point, the film documents what might be the most rigorous and realistic (if I can use that word) exploration of time travel that anyone has ever filmed.

I use the word “documented” on purpose. This film has no exposition. Characters never speak in a way that is meant to ensure that the viewer is keeping up with the story. “Primer” has been called a “puzzle thriller” on Wikipedia and that’s a whopping understatement. Through the first half of the movie, you feel pretty comfortable with the story. Our heroes are using their time machines to go briefly back in time, cautiously exploring time travel like scientists would. Then, imperceptibly, the movie’s complexity accelerates at light-speed. It’s imperceptible because it’s only near the end of the film that you suddenly realize that, throughout the film, you’ve been seeing three or four (or, ten, according to some Internet theories) timelines being spliced, woven, or superimposed on each other. The characters are living within a relatively short timespan, but they keep going back in time and tinkering with events.

Eventually, one densely embroidered timeline emerges from the actions of the characters. You realize that because of the limited, linear way that a film must present information to you, the film has only shown you a glimpse of all that occurred. In order to fully grasp the entire story, you must imagine several logically-complex off-screen actions by the characters. Characters are time-traveling off-screen and you are only seeing the results of their travel on the screen. This ain’t “Back to the Future”.

“Primer” is an iceberg, with most of the story and time-travel hidden behind the screen, if you will. It really is a puzzle. No one save theoretical physics professors can possibly grasp this entire movie in a single viewing. There are a few Internet sites which discuss “Primer” and its timeline. The writer/director has remained largely silent on his view of the film’s timeline, so smart folks have tried their hand at constructing their own timelines. The movie has just enough ambiguity to allow people to agree on the broad strokes of the timeline while entertaining differences on some details.

Technically, the movie in no way betrays its micro-budget origins. Its lighting, cinematography, sound, editing, and score are as far from amateur as you can get for a first-time filmmaker. “Primer” was shot on film, not digital cameras, and so it has the “feel” of a film. It’s not as glossy or polished as a studio film. You will be aware that you’re watching an independent film. But “Primer” is so engrossing that you won’t even notice its duct tape.

Fair warning: this is a hardcore time travel movie, written by a mathematician who taught himself physics. The characters discuss physics amongst themselves, as if the viewer wasn’t there. You don’t need to understand physics to follow and enjoy the movie. But you will miss some nuance. The film isn’t all about science. There is an exploration of common themes in time travel stories: what moral duties do time travelers owe to the rest of us, should time travel be used for personal gain, what is the nature of a time paradox. These themes are included in the film, but not on a silver platter. “Primer” don’t slow things down for the layman because the movie assumes that the layman isn’t there. You’re not being told the story in “Primer”, you’re merely witnessing it. You follow these characters and this story without a narrator’s help.

Primer is a fascinating puzzle of a movie. After I watched it, I spent a couple of hours combing the Internet for timeline theories and I STILL don’t quite understand everything that happened. It’s a tantalizing movie which will unquestionably reward repeat viewings.

One of the pleasures of reviewing this movie is that I can offer it to you for free. You can download it or just watch it in your browser. It’s only 1:15 in length, so I hope that many of you will watch and discuss it. It is posted on Google Video at this link: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3909854615539675694

No Country For Old Men

2007-12-06T00:42:12Z

I've seen this movie twice now and it's in my Top Five Of All Time (and Space). It's a stunning achievement on virtually every front. One of the movie's pleasures is how the Coen brothers indirectly communicate information about the characters without dialogue. I've been thinking of one example in particular.

At the start of the film, we see LLewelyn hunting antelope in Texas. Llewelyn rests his rifle on one of his boots (which he removed from his foot) and placed on top of a large rock. He's shooting antelope that are far enough away that he has to use a powerful scope, which he carefully adjusts before firing. After he fires his bolt-action rifle, he ejects the spent cartridge. He leans over and picks up the empty cartridge, slipping it into his breast pocket. He puts his boot on and sets to tracking the antelope he shot. Much later in the movie, we learn, in a bit of dialogue, that Llewelyn is a Vietnam vet. The movie takes place in 1980.

The first time I saw the movie, I didn't connect these two bits of information. The second time, it suddenly dawned on me: the Coens are telling me that Llewelyn was a sniper. Picking up a spent cartridge and putting it in your pocket is reflexive for a sniper. He's resting his rifle on his boot and careful concern for the proper scope setting show a sniper's careful care for getting a perfect shot. The entire movie rewards this kind of careful attention by the viewer. It's amazing.

Has anyone read the book? Is Llewelyn described by Cormac McCarthy as a sniper?

When Daily Show writers are on strike...

2007-11-17T04:50:41Z

...they naturally use their talents in self-defense.

The second-best track on "Purple Rain" is...

2007-11-08T03:11:37Z

...The Beautiful Ones. I just rediscovered this song on iTunes. It's probably been a decade since I last heard it. After I downloaded it, I cranked it up in my Bose headphones and felt that song take control of me. I'd forgotten the effect that this song has on me!

Make peace with your spare time

2007-11-04T02:48:41Z

You're going to lose it all when you visit this clever website that combines Flickr and Google Maps.

"The best five-second clip on the Internet."

2007-10-24T13:16:15Z

That's the description of this video clip on its YouTube page. What we have here is a 1 minute loop of those transcendent five seconds. I can watch the whole minute and be entranced the entire time. Is there something wrong with me?

I hereby declare my new favorite webcomic to be...

2007-10-22T21:34:45Z

...xkcd!

A sample for your amusement:

I AM THE LAW-GIVAH!

2007-10-14T20:40:22Z

I search the Internets, looking for the next WoW meme, so that you don't have to.

brahman_atman @ 2007-10-02T11:16:00

2007-10-02T15:27:59Z

Almost everyone on my Friends list will recognize the following snippet of movie dialogue:

Character 1: "We were able to save the left arm."
Character 2: "What? I thought we agreed on total body prosthesis? Lose the arm, OK?"

Yes, it's the scene in Robocop where Miguel Ferrer, an executive in the corporation that builds Robocop, orders Frank Murphy's surviving left arm scrapped in favor of a cybernetic arm. It's a small, classic scene. Now follow this bit of synchronicity.

It turns out that Miguel Ferrer is involved in the new Bionic Woman show on NBC. He's an executive (or authority figure) in the corporation or entity which creates the Bionic Woman. The Bionic Woman is bionic, except for her left arm.

Is there a scene in the Bionic Woman pilot in which Ferrer decides to spare the Woman's left arm? That would be an amazing Easter Egg.

The rallying cry of the fledgling supranational man

2007-09-20T19:43:52Z

This quote crystalizes my feelings towards the USA.

"America is at an awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system and too early to shoot the bastards."

- Claire Wolfe (www.clairwolfe.com)

Until 9/25, it's all about TF2

2007-09-19T10:44:36Z

Guder, I expect you have it downloaded and will be playing? Anyone else? Blair?

Anybody wanna play Hearts?

2007-09-15T13:46:02Z

I hope I'm not late on the bandwagon for this one. It's a trailer for the greatest video-game movie adaptation of all time: Minesweeper.

Although there was no clear winner, Dusty was in the best position

2007-09-12T21:46:51Z

Who wants to play online multiplayer Risk?

Yeah, you know who you are.

Here's my (hopefully) original 4E thought

2007-09-12T19:51:14Z

So it turns out that there's a fourth edition of D&D on the way. As I've said in other places, 4E should be subtitled "How I learned to stop worrying and love Iron Heroes. There's plenty of stuff from IH that is being brought into 4E, including stunts, action/danger zones, and different rules for monsters and PCs. One part of IH that will likely not make the jump, however, is IH's magic system. Sorry, Mike, but as you doubtless recall, I did some pre-release paper playtesting on the magic system and the numbers didn't seem right. (It's important to note that I've playtested one of your products before, Mike. Surely that kind of past service would be helpful in playtesting 4E? Surely?!)

So, we're not going to see IH magic in 4E. No surprise there. But IH isn't the only source of inspiration for 4E. By incorporating much of the Tome of Battle: The Book Of Nine Swords into the martial aspect of the game (the martial "power source", I think they're calling it), it seems clear that we can look to existing material as potential inclusions in 4E. Are there any interesting features from an existing 3.5E magic system that could be brought into 4E to increase the fun and flavor? Yes, there is, faithful reader. We must turn to 3.5E psionics for inspiration! After all, psionics is, in the end, another magic system.

What part of the psionics system am I referring to? Those who know me know that I love 3.5E psionics. There are plenty of good ideas in there, like power-scaling, that probably aren't a good fit for 4E magic. 4E magic, from what I gather, isn't a points-based spell system. Psionic power-scaling really only makes sense in a point system. So where else should we look? I'm thinking about the psion's ability to choose the energy type of a damaging power at the moment the power is used.

Four types of energy are available for an on-the-fly decision: fire, cold, electricity, and sonic (is it five? Do they get acid? I can't quite remember). Each energy type gives slight tweaks to the base damage that the psion delivers. I'm fuzzy on specifics, but cold gives slightly less damage but switches the save from Reflex to Fortitude, for example. Sonic bypasses hardness but counts as subdual damage. Stuff like that.

These rules provide a few benefits. It's an elegant boost to a group's flexibility. One power/spell can be tweaked to a particular encounter, opening a wider range of tactical options for a party facing monsters. Players can fight smarter, which is rewarding in itself. DMs can throw in a wider mix of monsters in an encounter, since they can be sure that the characters will always have access to cold spells when facing the efreeti. Finally, the mantra of 4E is "maximum cool at all times." It's cool for a wizard to be a master of four different types of energy. Mastery of shape (cone, burst, line, etc.) can be delayed in the rules and acquired through leveling. So the player gets some of the coolness now (energy mastery) and some of the coolness is thrown into the advancement rewards.

Thoughts?

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

2007-09-08T14:46:41Z

First, I've dipped a toe into Daft Punk's oeuvre, courtesy of my street dealer called "iTunes", and the five songs I scored are all solid. I've been on what I call a sui generis music binge for the past year or so. Don't believe me? Check out my iTunes playlist called "Sui Generis!" What bands are on this playlist? The aforementioned Daft Punk, along with Bent, Emilie Simone (especially groovy), Brazilian Girls, Shiny Toy Guns, Nouvelle Vague, Supreme Beings of Leisure, Cake, I Monster, and a few others.

Second, a visit to Wil Wheaton's blog brings a quote from Tycho, one of the Penny Arcade webcomic guys. This quote was in regards to his visit to Europe with his wife:

"Guys keep hitting on my wife, which I can understand, so it doesn't bother me. She looks pretty good, all's fair. But please, don't tell me I'm So Lucky or that I'm A Lucky Man. Brenna could not understand why this would make me angry when them kissing her arm or whatever would not. I let her in on a little man secret. When you tell a guy that he is a Lucky Man, you aren't saying it because she seems like a really nice person. What you are telling him is that you would so fuck that. You would fuck that to pieces."

So all of the people who are telling me how lucky I am to be marrying Amy? STEP AWAY FROM MY HOT-ASS WOMAN.

Hey, hey! What's this I see? I thought this was a party. LET'S DANCE!

2007-09-06T15:58:44Z

I take a university shuttle bus to class every day. Regular Bluebird commercial buses that you expect to see in the second poorest city in the nation. The designers made some interesting choices for the sound system. The controls for the stereo are above the driver's seat. The ceiling-mounted speakers, however, only occupy the rear half of the bus. If the bus driver wants to hear what's on the stereo, he has to crank the volume. This solves his problem, but punishes the ear drums of the rear-half passengers. The vast majority of passengers I see wear MP3 players. No headphones short of Bose noise-cancelling headphones (an expensive luxury not seen in the undergraduate set) can overcome the rear-half speakers when the driver absolutely needs to hear his music.

Today, our driver clearly needed some music to salve his early morning shift. As Kenny Loggins explained to me that he had to cut loose, footloose, I closed my eyes and struggled to focus on Adam and Sam. A bump in the road or a jostle from a fellow passenger occasionally broke my concentration. During one of those moments, I realized that we were beyond Kenny Loggins and were now hearing it for the boy.

At first, I didn't think anything of it. They're both popular 80's songs. This radio station must be doing a block of similar songs. Whatever, I'm trying to listen to a movie review.

Next interruption: someone needs a hero. Surprise washed over me. This bus driver wasn't listening to an 80's radio station, he was listening to the freaking Footloose soundtrack! A glance at the stereo above his head confirmed the presence of a CD slot. A glance into the driver's mirror confirmed that this guy was probably early 40s and saw Footloose in the theater. I was surprised to hear someone playing the soundtrack in 2007.

For a moment, I forgave his decision to inflict hearing damage on his passengers in light of this quirky and frankly ballsy CD selection. I liked Footloose when I saw it. I owned the soundtrack (how else did I recognize the song list?). To play that soundtrack at such high volume, thereby proclaiming your love for it loudly and publicly, is a bold move. It's like driving down Main Street in your flash convertible with the Dirty Dancing soundtrack at peak volume. It's a potentially potent blow to your public manhood. It can say one of a few things: I'm gay and don't care who knows it, I'm closeted-gay and want to open the door a crack, my public manhood is strong enough to withstand this episode, or I don't give a shit about your stupid notions of "public manhood."

As a recent attendee at a Timberlake concert, I'd go with the last option, natch.

Bioshock!

2007-08-25T19:43:48Z

This game is doing things to my b0xx0rz. Great stuff so far. I love the Art Deco visual design and the retro-music I hear. HD graphics from my 360 are lovely.

Enough chatter; back to Rapture!